Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Junior

Dear Kenneth,

While I am proud of you that you have finally hit Home Run number 600, it saddens me that you didn't wait 3 days for ME to see it. I thought we were closer than that. I thought we had something special. I thought that you understood that being one of the Pretend Boyfriends was an elite honor. And that in that group, you still have to maintain my happiness. In ways like, NOT doing coke off hooker's asses, NOT being traded to the Yankees, or pulling something as STUPID as Adam Sandler did, like wearing a Yankees hat in public (yes, Angela broke up with him over that).

That being said, you are still in my favor. But I am still hurt that you didn't wait for me. I mean even Sammy Sosa had the courtesy to hit number 500 while I was there... and he isn't even Backup Pretend Boyfriend status. Sure, "Baseball has been berry berry good to heem" but I have been berry berry good to you. I have been a faithful and loyal Reds fan for almost 7 years, which you and I both know can sometimes be a hard thing to do. But, I have stood by you when all the nay-sayers were saying, "He's too old. He can't stay healthy. His moment in the sun is over". I have cringed when you you take off across the field and dive to catch a ball, and I hold my breath when you launch yourself off the ground and into the wall to make impossible catches. I have cried when you and the boys won and cheered you on during the slumps.

So, regardless of where you play, (I'm looking at YOU, Seattle) I will continue to remain faithful as long as you don't pull another stunt like you did last night.

In closing, I will see you in 3 days, My Dear.
and
GO REDS!

3 comments:

Donna Jean said...

Yes he did it! Wish he had waited for you but the stars musta been lined up just right....It shoulda been at home!!!!
Looking forward to seeing you soon!

LadyBlue said...

At least you gave him a warning letter...

Poor Adam had no idea what was coming. I heard he was crushed and is still crying over me.

True story

christelpistol said...

Donna, I KNOW!


Ang, do you BLAME him?