Monday, December 8, 2008


always an adventure. that is our motto. it's been mine for years. add to that a BF who gets into all sorts of mishaps, and it's like a mantra now.

even something as simple as a late night food run, becomes an adventure.

we left his house in the sticks around 9pm. we flipped a coin between Sonic at 17 miles away or Jack in the Box at 16 miles away. not lying. Jack won.

now i don't live in the sticks. i live in the city. i don't see well in the dark and add to that not having a DAMNED clue where i was going, and we are already off to a good start. after many "your other lefts" and "NO TURN THERE!" and "baby, watch the speed limit cause it goes from 50 to 35 back to 60" we finally arrived at Jack. we opted to eat inside since we drove 7 hours to get there. when we got to the front, there was a girl chatting with 2 of the girls behind the counter. we took our time deciding what sort of fat girls we were going to be, so we were able to hear parts of the conversation in the interim. lots of "he said... she said" lots of "why you gotta get all up in my bidness" and as we were ordering it got even MORE heated and a fight was about to erupt. the girls took their drama to the back and we were able to order without someone getting yanked over the counter by her hair.

we ordered a metric fuckton of fat girl food and during our wait we were able to soak in our surroundings. mind you it was BALLS cold on Saturday night. there was a woman in there with no shoes or socks or jacket on. she looked pretty rough and was there with her crackhead boyfriend. and you could tell there was anger between them as they were leaving and she shot back some snide remark at him as she was walking out the door. there was a quiet hispanic family on the other side of the restaurant and us. we could STILL hear the girls fighting in the back of the kitchen and decided to take our food to go. while we were still waiting, another group of people came in. two guys and one girl. they were the oddest combination of people. and it was as if they were told, "dress nicely, but wear the STUPIDEST shoes you own" i am NOT lying. one guy was a buck-ten, soaking wet and was wearing a button down shirt, brownish tie, blazer, brown slacks, and dirty brown chuck taylor low tops. the other guy was wearing a blue button down with black slacks and black and white checkered skate punk shoes. BUT WAIT. the girl was the BEST! she was in a lovely lacy calf length black dress with a brown leather floor length leather (?) coat with a sheepskin lining and a fur collar. not sure exactly what KIND of fur, but fur. and for her footwear.... leather moccasin slippers with a fur lining as well. we think the fur may have been squirrel or perhaps chipmunk. they were HIDEOUS. we referred to her as Pocahontas.

in addition to all of the excitement, the restaurant had a thermostat set for "Flash Freeze" and it was entirely too cold. i thought about borrowing Pocahontas's coat.

we took our 11 pounds of artery clogging, ass fattening food, bid the jack farewell, and then drove back to the house.
of course with more, "honey, just let him pass you on the other sides" and "watch out for the drunk swerving guy" and a couple of "dang ole potholes, man"

we made it safely home. still an adventure. but not without amusement. never is.


Ian Townsend said...

you kids crack me up.

christelpistol said...

i know, right?


Ian Townsend said...

DUDE I'll see you in 3 weeks.