Friday, December 12, 2008

suds and duds

the BF (pseudonym still in progress) has decided that he wants to blog as well. the ACTUAL conversation went like this.

"I'ma need YOU to make me a blog. and I'm gonna write wittier stuff and send it to all of YOUR peeps and they are gonna love ME more than you. cause all the stuff you blog about is funny stuff about ME anyway."

ok, it was more of a statement than a conversation, because my response was a sound that sounded almost exactly like a scoff. (maybe cause it totally was!) so y'all hold your breaths for the "FUNNIER AND CLEVERER THAN CHRISTEL BLOG" cause I'm sure it's on it's way.


now, a blog about ME.

i have issues. more specifically SOAP issues. and even MORE specifically Bath and BodyWorks soap issues. they have an outlet store in both the San Marcos and Hillsboro outlet malls. and i CANNOT get out of there without spending over $50. ON SOAP! seriously people, i only take one shower a day, how much soap could i POSSIBLY need? the answer to that question is a METRIC SHIT TON. i went yesterday to the outlets in San Marcos, cause the BF had some trainings to do there and i had the day off, so why not go? i walked into the BBW store 3 minutes after they opened and left almost 30 minutes later with $76.87 worth of soap. i know better than to pretend to wander around and consider my purchases. i grab the giant shoulder bag and proceed to dump stuff in 2 and 3 at a time. i mean how do you pass up luscious Vanilla Bean Noel lotion for $6 when it's normally $11? and it smells like cookies. COOKIES, PEOPLE!

now don't misunderstand, i didn't spend all that money on just soap for me. i bought christelmas gifties too. but still, $77 on soap? issues. seriously. but i smell real damned delicious. my new favorite smell is the Jasmine Vanilla. it smells like Allie's house. and that is one place I'd really like to be. at allie's house, there is nail polish and coffee and Allie. and NONE of those things suck.

so. anyone know of a 12 step program for this soap thing? if so, lemme know. otherwise I'll be in the tub.


WIO said...

FUNNIER AND CLEVERER THAN CHRISTEL BLOG" is now going to be said name of my blog. I assure ALL of you that it will be far more entertaining and wittier than some hos and yos. WIO OUT

christelpistol said...


you're so cute when you're delusional.

themommie said...

can't wait for the "FUNNIER AND CLEVERER THAN CHRISTEL BLOG". Dueling Blogs, how fun is that. Problem is NEITHER one of you will ever get anything else dun, you will always be looking for a way to out-clever, out-funny the other one. But, for us readers, it will be great. I think there needs to be a RATING scale at the end of each blog.

As for the SOAP issue, I don't think you will 12-step out of that until you 12-step out of GERMOPHOBIA!!!!!!!!!!! ya think

merry christelmas

Allie said...

we know i just skimmed this until i saw my name.

then i was pleased.

and then i read the rest of it.

and yeah, funnier? i'll believe that when i read it.

bring your "a" game cowboy.

christelpistol said...

I LOVE a good challenge!