"I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?"

welp, i met the boyfriend's (still haven't figured out his pseudonym....) family on Saturday. and by family i mean the WHOLE Damn Family. not a simple, "hey honey let's have dinner with my folks at a nice restaurant". i mean 12 hours at their house with his daughter, Mom, Dad, 2 sisters, a brother-in-law, and a niece. PHEW.

we got there around 9 ish because his dad needed some help with cementing in some cinder blocks. so we ate breakfast, (hash browns with onions and scrambled eggs with onions) and then the menfolk got to work. i sat in the kitchen and talked to his mom about stuff. and crap. and junk. i asked her how she and her husband met, cause i got the abbreviated version from her son and thought, "i BET this is a good story. it HAS to be!" and over the next 5 hours, we chatted about where i've lived, where she's lived, how they met, how she wants to be a writer (kickass!), how i have a blog, how she wants to get into blogging, their trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas (hehehehehe) and Life, the Universe and Everything. it was WONDERFUL. we chatted like we had known each other for years. she is a fantastic woman. i'm pretty sure that if the BF and i break up, she's gonna keep ME instead.

after the menfolk were finished with the laboring, we started working on dinner (pork chops covered in onions, scalloped potatoes with onions) around this time, the BF's sister and husband and niece arrived. and his sister asked IMMEDIATELY, "what's for dessert?" and of COURSE i piped up with , "well i fancy myself a baker". keep in mind that his dad was an executive chef. his brother-in-law is a chef at a restaurant in marble falls and his sister is no slouch in the kitchen either. GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT. collectively, we decided on apple pie. i said i would make a streusel topping for it. well it ended up that i made an apple crisp instead. which was even funnier, because his mom said, "wow that was the easiest dessert i've ever made!" ya know, since I championed the whole project! heh.

once we put dinner in the oven, we all hopped in the truck and went to the lake. i hadn't been on a boat since i was about 10. i was STOKED! we cruised around the lake for a bit. the majority of the family got IN the lake. (i am NOT that girl who jumps in lakes when it's OCTOBER) and we headed back tot he house. we assumed we were gonna be gone for about an hour. 2 hours later we get back to the house and can almost smell the food from the street. good thing we only put it in at 275 degrees. it all smelled so good.

we all got back to work finishing dinner and as his mom is cutting onions for the salad, i whispered to the BF, "will you ask her to scoop some out for me first and don't tell her that i'm allergic, k?"

he says, "HEY MA, we're gonna scoop some out cause she's all allergic to onions and all..."
thanks, dear.

her face turns white and you could see her going over the entire menu for the day and realizing that the ONLY things we didn't put onions in were the coffee and the apple crisp. she was mortified. which was what i was TRYING to avoid in the first place. reallllllly graceful, dear.

OH! i forgot this part. when we took the apple crisp out of the oven, i said to his dad, "that looks terrible, y'all ought not have any." he says, 'just wait and see what's left in the pan and THEN we'll decide" i said, "i was trying to say that i... ya know... have it all to myself...." he shoots back, "yeah, we are real familiar with THAT game. don't think you can try to get by with THAT move i mean we aren't THIS fat by letting someone ELSE eat our desserts!"

i... uhhh... yes sir.

so we ate dinner, that was SOOOOO tasty, and i was complimented on my apple crisp. yay me, i didn't poison them! and we wound down the night. we said our goodbyes and were on our way home. i didn't break anything. i didn't say anything out of line and i didn't shatter any family heirlooms. it was a good day.


i was informed yesterday that his dad called him and asked if i had a nice time and said "everyone seems to have liked her". having myveryownpersonal dad who is a man of few words, THIS was a pretty good indicator that i might get to come back.

i hope.